


Remember

by itbeajen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Implied Character Death, Melancholy, Not Major Character Death Though, Slight Hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-11-19 05:26:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11306598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itbeajen/pseuds/itbeajen
Summary: Life is fleeting. So please spend every moment and cherish it as much as you can together.Because once they're gone, all you have left are lingering memories.





	Remember

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Haikyuu!! or any of the characters that are mentioned. I am not making any profit from this fic and I write purely for the love of the characters. Haikyuu!! is the property of Haruichi Furudate.

**Age: 5**  
  
"Hey!" you called out, rushing up to the silver haired boy at the playground. He was alone, and you were alone, so two people together meant that you guys wouldn't be alone. His hazel, brown eyes turned to look at you, his mouth shaped in a small o, and then a bright smile bloomed on his face.  
  
"I'm Sugawara Koushi," he cheerfully responds. You were cute, probably the same age as him. And your mother had tied your hair into two adorable pigtails.   
  
"I'm [L/N] [F/N]!" you stuck out a hand, and waited for him to grab it. Once his hand slid against yours and both of you tightened your grasp, you smiled, "It's nice to meet you! Sugawara-kun!"  
  
 **Age: 8**  
  
"Don't run [F/N]!" Sugawara laughed as he called out. You were at his house again as you rushed through the corridors, escaping from the silver haired boy. His parents watched over the two of you fondly as you guys played various different games, from hide and seek to house.   
  
Sugawara managed to grab your hand and upon halting your movement, his momentum lead him to toppling over and stumbling into you. But he quickly rolls around so that your smaller figure wasn't crushed by him. The two of you look at each other from the floor and laugh.  
  
"Caught you!"  
  
You stuck out your tongue at him and then pouted adorably, "It's not fair because you're taller than me!"  
  
"Nuh uh! I'm only 2 cm taller!" Sugawara responded cheekily. The two of you engage in a staring contest before the gaze between the two of you is broken by laughter and giggles.   
  
"One day I'll outrun you Kou!"  
  
"Maybe [F/N]! Maybe!"   
  
He smiles brightly. And you think it's cute. And you gently pinch his cheek, "For sure!"  
  
He returns the gesture, albeit a lot gentler with you, "Maybe!"  
  
 **Age: 14**  
  
"What do you mean you're moving..?" Sugawara softly asks. Your grip on his hand was tight and he refused to believe it. You were his best friend. His childhood friend. The one girl he didn't mind spending time with, because well, it was you. When you finally look up at him, he sees the tears in your eyes and he pulls you into a hug.  
  
"Kou," your voice was a hoarse whisper and he could hear the strain from holding back your tears. "We'll still be friends right? You won't forget me?"  
  
Sugawara tried to find the right words. Words that would reassure you. Words that would guarantee your return to him. But he couldn't find any. Instead, his embrace tightens and he pulls you closer, your head now resting against his chest. He was taller than you now. By a lot. It was no longer mere centimeters anymore. He hears your soft sobs and a hand gently pats your head and he whispers, "I'll never forget you. Never."   
  
"P-Promise me."  
  
"I promise."  
  
 **Age: 18**  
  
"This is our new transfer student. It's still relatively early into the year, so she's not too behind. But like the rest of you, this is her last year in high school, so please treat her kindly."   
  
You fidgeted awkwardly in the Karasuno school uniform, and your eyes refused to look up. But upon hearing the teacher finish introducing you, you bowed and you stood up, back straight, head high, chest out, and you made eye contact with a certain silver haired boy who was facing you with a bright smile. You returned the smile tenfold and cheerfully greeted the class, "I'm [L/N] [F/N]! It's a pleasure to meet you guys!"  
  
During lunch, you were excitedly pulled away from the crowd by Sugawara as he introduces you to the volleyball members he hangs out with. You were glad to hear he continued playing after the various phone calls and video calls you made with your best friend. He excused the both of you as he wanted to finally catch up with you. About everything and anything. And you felt the same way.   
  
Lunch was spent catching up and exchanging untold stories with each other. But there was an underlying message between the two of you and Sugawara breaks it. A soft simple kiss to the forehead, and the pink dusting your cheeks was more than rewarding for him. He turns away, slightly embarrassed, but your fingers at the hem of his shirt, just slightly tugging, was enough for him to wrap his arms around you. Just like that day you guys had parted. But this time, you were staying.   
  
This time, you came back.  
  
 **Age: 19**  
  
As expected, the two of you attended the same college. And by fate, were placed in the same co-ed dorm. You had befriended Kiyoko during your last and only year at Karasuno, the two of you becoming quick friends, and that friendship carried onto college. Sugawara and Daichi were inseparable. It was a joke you often teased the two about. But Daichi knew, Sugawara knew, that ultimately it was you and Sugawara that were inseparable. Despite the distance, you two were inseparable.  
  
It came like a storm, the sudden bouts of sleepiness, headaches, and at times, blacking out. The first time it happened, the cause was stress of finals and papers. The second time, the finger was pointed at lack of nutrition. After having it occur over and over, you had visited the doctor in fear of something worse.   
  
And the nightmare was true.  
  
Your life span wasn't long. Unless you underwent surgery.   
  
Your mother had warned you. After all, if you had taken after your father then-  
  
But you had refused to believe it, you had denied it.  
  
And this is what happens in return.   
  
No one knew. No one knew until one day you broke down for no reason during a lecture. It wasn't a philosophy class, or even a psychology class. But there was a temporary lecturer; with the topic of gratitude. Gratitude towards the people you interact with. Gratitude to the opportunities that were given and will be given to you. Gratitude for being born and given a chance to live life and experience its wonders.   
  
Sugawara had known you were emotional at times, but not enough for you to break down completely. Your entire body shook as you tried to silence your tears. But ultimately you had left the lecture early, Sugawara escorting you out. Despite your weak reassurances that you were okay, that you would be fine. That it was _nothing_.  
  
Sugawara knew better. Tell him. Tell me. Just be honest. And you did. Like a dam that had broke, you admitted everything to Sugawara. You were fearing his rejection. His disgust. But when his arms wrapped around you, just like that day five years ago, any inhibitions about crying in public were gone as you completely let go.   
  
As though the feeling of helplessness returned from all those years ago. There was nothing he could truly say that would reassure you like back then. There was an _unknown factor_  this time. And he didn't know what to do. If he could do anything. But regardless of what happens, he'll stay with you.   
  
 **Age: 20**  
  
"Kou," your voice was soft. And he gave you a soft smile, although internally he wasn't okay. His smile was there to reassure you, not quite himself.   
  
"It's this week."  
  
"I know," he responded quickly. A bit too quickly. And both of you send each other knowing looks and you softly continue, "You'll wait for me right?"  
  
He nodded, his hand gently intertwining with yours and you smile. Your lips curl up weakly before your [e/c] orbs slowly close. _I don't want to leave yet._  Unknowingly, you had whispered these words into the air. And when the grip on your hand tightened, you looked at Sugawara, and were shocked to see tears running down his face.  
  
"Kou.."  
  
"Don't say that. If the surgery is successful, then you'll be okay!" he forced his voice to stay steady, and steady it stayed. You smiled, "That's right, there's still a chance."  
  
"There is... so please, [F/N].." Sugawara's words trailed off, but the way both his hands held your frail one was enough for you to understand. _There's still hope. You won't be leaving yet. You'll be_ **okay**.  
  
After Sugawara had left, tears spilled from your eyes. The chances were slim. And if it failed, then you... your story, the one you've written with that smiling silver haired boy, would end here. _I don't want it to end._  
  
Your sobs suffocated you and shook your entire being. Your mother sat beside you, understanding the pain you were going through. But it was worse for her. She had lost her husband and she might end up losing you, her only child.   
  
"I love you," you whispered. Your mom repeated the three words to you too. But upon seeing you cry more, she asked you almost inaudibly. Had you ever said those words to Koushi?  
  
 _No. Not verbally. But physically. Every little gesture, every action_.   
  
Your watery eyes turn to your mother and you softly mumble, "Pen and paper."  
  
 _Please. Please let this be nothing more than a draft. Please don't let this be my final letter to Kou._  
  
 **Age: 20**  
  
"Koushi, let's go."   
  
The male gently smoothed out the ground as he rearranged your favorite flowers one last time.   
  
"I'm coming [L/N]-san."   
  
"You can just call me Mom," your mother softly called out. Despite the half decade that has passed, he still almost visibly flinched, and your mother softly continued, "She would have liked that."  
  
Sugawara nodded, before gently placing his hand beside your grave. _I'll be back again next month [F/N]._    
  
He walked your mother back to her car, it was the least he could do without inflicting anymore pain, but before he could walk away, she softly calls his name before handing him a silver ribbon sealed box.   
  
"This is..?"  
  
She shook her head, a sad smile on her lips as she handed it over. Sugawara didn't ask anymore as he gently took the box into his hands. He watched as she drove off, and instead of leaving, his feet lead him back to your spot, and he sat down on the patch of empty grass beside you.  
  
His fingers tremble as they slowly untie the box, and upon lifting the white lid, the familiar neat handwriting of yours stares back at him, albeit it was a bit messier than your normal writing, it was still uniquely yours.  
  


_My beloved Koushi_   


  
The tear drops that stained the page almost made him cry immediately. _[F/N].._

_I hope my mother keeps her promise, and that she'll give this to you once enough time has passed..._   
_Thank you._   
_Thank you for being my very first friend._   
_For being the person that I could trust with my life._   
_For being the person that I could always lean on when I needed someone the most._   
_For being there, physically or mentally,_   
_whether it was through the physical contact of your soft touch_   
_Or the whisper of your voice during the middle of the night_

_Koushi_   
_You ~~were~~ are my star._   
_You are the light that guided me when I was down._   
_You are the one who never left my side no matter how bad times got._

_And I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry Kou._   
_I'm sorry for always teasing you for being too nice._   
_I'm sorry that I wasn't able to make it to all your volleyball practices and matches._   
_I'm sorry that I made fun of your cooking._   
_(I do hope it's better now, a lot better than back then when we were 14)_   
_I'm sorry for always procrastinating on my homework and asking you for help_   
_I'm sorry that I wasn't open with my affections._   
_I'm sorry that I was never able to verbally tell you I loved you._   
_I love you._   
_I'll always love you._

_And I'm so sorry that things ended like this._   
_Even when I'm the one who asked you to wait._   
_When I'm the one who asked you not to forget._   
_When I was the one who made sure we were never truly separated._

_I was the one who left first._   
_I'm so sorry Koushi._

_I hope now though, you're able to smile again._   
_That bright smile that was able to light up an entire room._   
_The cheerful smile that greeted me first thing every morning_   
_The sleepy smile that was the last thing I saw every night_   
_Your fond smile every time I did something stupid._   
_Please, continue smiling for me Koushi._   
_Smile my portion too._

_But Koushi, I have one favor._   
_Even though I know this may be a lot to ask_   
_Please promise me that even after this, we'll still be friends._   
_That you won't hate me._   
_That you will remember all the good times and bad times we had._   
_Please... please don't **forget**  me._   
_Please remember me and keep me in your heart._   
_Even if it's just a small tiny piece, please keep me in your memories._

_I'm so sorry Koushi._   
_I really wish this was a nightmare,_   
_that I'm not writing my last letter to you_   
_That this will just be a draft that I'll store in our box of memories_

_And if it isn't._   
_Please know that I love you._   
_That you are my light._   
_And that I'll never forget you._

_I love you Koushi._   


  
Sugawara pulled his knees to his chest as his head ducked between them. _Those smiles you showed me [F/N], were you hiding your fears and sadness all that time?_  He felt his tears as they seeped into his skin, but he quickly pulls himself together.

_I'll never forget you [F/N]._  His eyes close. Although he never said it aloud, his heart and actions had screamed it, and will continue to repeat it over and over again.

_I love you [F/N]._

**Author's Note:**

> cough
> 
> So I read a really sad Oikawa fanfic like minutes before I wrote this one.   
> And that fic basically reopened all my wounds that I would have liked to   
> keep close. And I was surprised, at myself, that I'm still hurting over this  
> pain. 
> 
> But it inspired me to write this. A good chunk of this was pulled from my  
> personal experiences. Especially the- never mind not going to go there.
> 
> But yeah, I'm so sorry that I ended up writing this. I was all into writing for  
> Kyotani and then this happened because of my emotions. ;///;


End file.
